The other night I felt like taking a walk.
I used to walk everywhere before I moved to Roatan. When I lived in Vancouver, one of the biggest cities in Canada, I regularly walked to/from work downtown to the neighborhood I lived in (Kitsilano). I walked home drunk by myself from downtown after going to the bar with friends. I walked to concerts, dinner dates and shopping. I never had a problem in 5 years of living there, and I never felt unsafe.
When I first moved to Roatan it was a bit of a shock to me that it was so unsafe for me to walk anywhere outside of the main street at night. I had enough close friends and acquaintances who had been robbed (sometimes at gunpoint) just walking home, that I decided it wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. My friends who live in town still carry pepper spray or tasers when they walk on the main road at night! Even when I lived in town, I still sometimes took a taxi home at night because I lived a bit off the main road and wanted to be safe. A couple times people tried to rob me, but I don’t ever carry anything on me besides a cheap phone and less then $25 so I never lost much. I have been around long enough on the island that most people know I’m not a tourist, and also I’m not tiny and walk assertively so I hardly ever have issues these days. That being said, I’m not going to purposely put myself in situations that I know aren’t safe (hello, common sense) so I don’t walk at night.
Now back in my sleepy hometown in Saskatchewan, I felt like going for a walk after dinner. I said to my mom that I wanted to go for a walk, and she said, “so…take a walk then!” and without thinking, I immediately responded, “but it’s dark out“.
In two years it has been so ingrained in my every day life that I can’t walk around at night that I forgot it’s completely safe to take an after dinner walk in a small city in Saskatchewan. Or a big city like Vancouver. Or anywhere in Canada, really.
I felt like a 16 year old with a brand new drivers license and a car… I could go walk anywhere I wanted! Even though it was 8:30pm! What freedom!
I bundled up (hey, it was 3C/37F out – I’m not used to these temperatures anymore!) and got ready to go.
As I set out for a walk through my quiet neighborhood, I thought about how wonderful it was that I could go for a walk. I thought about how lovely it was to be walking and not sweating and feeling like I’m about to die of heatstroke. And then I realized about 20 minutes in that I was CONSTANTLY looking over my shoulder and feeling a little anxious. I didn’t see a single human being during my entire hour-long walk, but I couldn’t shake the sense of uneasiness.
It was shocking to me that even though I am perfectly safe walking around in Canada, that after two years of knowing and being told it’s not safe (in Roatan) that I couldn’t fully enjoy a walk around my neighborhood here anymore without a nagging feeling that I was doing something I shouldn’t and that I might be in danger. Clearly my brain was functioning on autopilot, and I’m glad I’m not immune to it sending out safety signals, but I can’t help thinking what a shame it is.
This really got me thinking – do I want to live in a place that is so unsafe for me to walk around alone at night? This is not an exaggeration or ‘crazy gringo talk’ – it is a real and serious safety issue where I live in Honduras (for me and for people from there…you won’t see locals walking home outside of town either) and now it so it is entrenched in my brain that I can’t walk around in Canada without feeling unsafe. I don’t really like the idea that I have this paranoia even once I’m not there.
I wish things were different in Roatan but it’s not my country to change. That’s up to the islanders and their government to do something about this kind of stuff that affects their residents and visitors alike. All I can do is decide if I want to be a part of a place where this is the norm and isn’t going to be different anytime in the near future. I guess being back in Canada has given me a fresh set of eyes on it as I never think about it while I’m there – it’s just what you do and you don’t really think twice about it. So I’ll keep pondering that question… but in the meantime, I’m going for a walk.
Great points Steph! It's not a dealbreaker for me at this time (I would have been outta there a looooooong time ago if that was the case, haha!) but I hadn't realized how deeply it had gotten into my brain until I came back to Canada.
It's such a strange feeling, isn't it?? Bummer that you don't feel super safe walking around at night at home though 🙁
We used to keep our doors unlocked in Canada all the time while I was growing up so I wasn't used to it at all! We lock them now though, times are changing.
Obviously I have spent more than my fair share outside of Canada too, and I have to say that there really is nothing like being away from your home country for a while to help you appreciate it. I loved Asia so much and never once felt in danger there, but it means so much to me that I feel similarly here in Toronto—I wander around the city at all hours and have never once worried about my safety (like you, I don't purposefully put myself in situations that could get dicey, but you take my point).
I think the key to remember is that travelers in particular are great at adapting and adjusting to their surroundings. I bet it wouldn't take too long for you to slide back into your old way of life here and your old mentality and sense of security too. Obviously it's not ideal that when you do return to Roatan, your safety will be an issue you have to worry about, but I suppose nowhere is perfect, and everywhere we wind up, we will find ourselves making sacrifices of some kind. Whether we're willing to make them or not, really depends on what we value and what our dealbreakers are.
This is a really interesting observation and it speaks to those deeper cultural differences that we don't really see until we have been away from our homes for a while. Being an American, it was sort of the opposite for me. I was used to thinking this kind of way — feeling a little paranoid at all times, avoiding being alone at night, etc. When I went to Austria for the first time and was told that it really was okay to walk home late at night — and did it — it was kind of mind-blowing. Even in France, I did it a couple of times (even though I still was slightly paranoid) but yeah, it's amazing what that little daily dose of paranoia and avoidance does! Good questions!
Coming to New Zealand I am still shocked at how SAFE this place is, even compared to the UK, which isn't exactly war torn. Here on the south island, people go to bed with their doors open but years of british paranoia mean I can't sleep unless I'm locked in!
Our journey this season has certainly started out up our sight as to how fortunate we are to be from North america. I am interested to see what kind of learned/cautious behaviors we've obtained from our moves will be obviously unnecessary once we get returning to Toronto!
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Great point – we are SO SO SO lucky in Canada that this country, for the most part, is incredibly safe, has non-corrupt authorities and most people have enough morals and ethics to not steal other people's shit or hurt them.
I think a lot of times we don't really realize stuff like that until we're not in it anymore… I never think about my safety in Roatan, I just know what I can do and what I can't do and that's just that. But it's sure been an eye-opening trip, and I think my friends and family are sick of me panicking about locking the doors and windows 🙂
Well, to be fair, it wasn't the SAME house getting broken into over and over, haha! I move around a lot on the island. But yeah, I do feel pretty casual about it, I guess just because it's so common around there? It did happen to me once in Vancouver too, so I know it's not only Roatan where people break and enter but the frequency is a lot higher proportionally on the island, and in Canada the police actually investigate and sometime even catch criminals, whereas in Roatan nothing happens.
And I like the idea of you on Roatan and me not saying goodbye 🙂 Let's see what happens when I get back… if there is work, and the visa run thing goes down the toilet, then all will be well! Been hearing reports of arrivals at their airport waiting over TWO HOURS to move through immigration with the new scanners, so I can't see this lasting very long. I've already seen people changing their travel plans because of it. Hopefully Honduras will smarten up.
I think pretty much all our friends on Roatan have said something similar hey? Crazy how ingrained that gets into our brains while we're on the rock.
Yep, especially not having a vehicle makes it a real hassle to not be able to walk around at night, especially since things ARE within walking distance for me. Kind of frustrating, but better safe than sorry.
Thanks Fab – I did!!
Our trip this year has certainly opened up our eyes as to how lucky we are to be from Canada. I am curious to see what sort of learned/cautious behaviours we've gained from our travels will be apparently needless once we get back to Toronto!
That is definitely a huge concern! I love how safe I feel in Germany – much safe in fact than my home city of Houston. I guess the lack of presence of guns helps. I can see how that would totally make you think pretty hard about things.
I have to say, it blew me away a while ago when you were talking about how your home had gotten broken into several times. You seemed perfectly okay with it, almost flippant (I don't mean that in a negative way, I just can't think of a better word to use), and all I could do was reflect upon how I would not want to live in a place where the idea of somebody breaking into my home was more of a when, not an if.
Whether you move on or not is up to you but I do think 2 years of looking over your shoulder and dealing with a relative lack of safety is a long time.
I like your blog more than I like the idea of you saying goodbye to Roatán.
You are not alone sister. I've caught myself doing the same when visiting the states. Portland is a VERY safe city, and yet I still catch myself guarding my purse if a stranger addresses me, locking my car no matter where it's parked, even at home. I was having a beer with friends downtown the other night, and a car pulled up asking my friend for directions. I went out of my way to turn completely around and watch her, for fear it was a ploy. It's good that we're aware of our surroundings, but not so good that we've become wired this way 🙁
Huh, that's a good point. I've never lived anywhere I didn't feel safe walking at night. I tend to avoid certain parts of Seattle late at night when I'm by myself, but I would have no problem if I was part of a group or couple. For me, I think it's essential to be able to walk almost anywhere I want. I guess I never had to think otherwise!
Enjoy your walk Rika! 🙂