Cubicle Throwdown

tales of a serial expat

I am not a tree. (On changing my house, and other things.)

by



If you don’t like where you are,
change it.
You are not a tree.


I read the above quote on my friend Amanda’s blog and first I laughed. Then the absolute simplicity and truth of it exploded my brain. Think about it, and then really think about it. Unless you’re actually a tree (in which case, kudos for getting online and being literate and all that), you have no reason that you cannot change it. Maybe you have reasons you won’t change it, or don’t change it. But don’t forget that you can.

And with that excellent segue way, let me tell you why I’m glad I’m not a tree.

Remember when I finally moved into my own place in West End? Well, this whole “living behind my favorite bar” thing, and “living alone with no one to answer to” thing ended up being super fun and then super not a good idea. I have a tendency to do everything balls-to-the-wall when I do it, and I did the party scene there way, way too hard for the last two months. Like to the point of friends and co-workers being concerned enough to come and tell me, and I sort of feel like they may have tried to stage an intervention at some point but I don’t really remember because I can’t remember about 75% of that time. The turning point came on a day I came back from a dive on an already rough morning and immediately felt awful … all I remember is laying on the floor, rolling around with a horrific headache and ready to puke at any second and my limbs and joints aching. I was terrified that I had pushed it too far with partying the night before and then diving, and had given myself decompression sickness. My boat captain’s face loomed over me as he handed me a glass of water and said, “Rika. Look at yourself. You have to stop this. I’m so worried about you.” That made me cry. I stayed in the fetal position for the rest of the day and decided, fuck this. This sucks. This is not who I am. I don’t want to do this anymore. I had gained over 10 lbs in a matter of a couple months, and looked and felt terrible. I was out of money, dignity and had lost a couple pairs of shoes along the way too. Needless to say, I was on the fast track to nowhere and I needed to make a change.

After realizing I was probably going to get liver cirrhosis or brain damage or something if I stayed where I was, I thought about what great timing it was that I was about to leave on my  trip to the Bahamas on the megayacht. A couple weeks at sea would do me good! And I was about to make a crap ton of money! Yeah! 

Then the yacht trip got cancelled at the last minute. Womp womp. So – no money, stuck in apartment in West End, sad. Bad combination for me, folks.

But remember – lady luck is on my side!

The next day, one of my divers who is also a homeowner where I work (the dive shop/resort is on 120 acres of land that people buy lots and build private homes on) was leaving and asked if I wanted to stay at her swanky house for free (just paying the electricity) until she came back in January.

Um, do I want to stay at a nice house in a gorgeous location, for basically free, far away from all the towns and craziness I had gotten into?

I hesitated at first, because I’m afraid of change. I’m not good at it. But then I remembered… I am not a tree. I can move if something isn’t working out for me. I can move if I don’t like it, and I can go wherever I want.

So I said yes…yes… YES!

That night I had a friend come by to help me move. I packed my entire house up in 15 minutes and moved out to my new place.

I went from this:




To this:



And I even have one of these for the first time ever here:


AND I HAVE A FRICKIN DISHWASHER!!!


These kinds of things excite you after living in a third world country for a year.


So yeah. My new place is amazing. I am taking much better care of myself. I’m doing yoga on my deck, working out in my living room, walking down the hill to work and back up at the end of the day (vs. my old 45 minute scooter commute), making healthy food in my fantastic kitchen, getting work done and saving money because I’m not out eating and drinking all the time, and I’m taking some time to just deal with myself. The first few days I had to play music constantly when I was home, because I’m not used to being alone. And I’m definitely not used to it being quiet. It’s just me and the palm trees out here…. I can see the outline of houses down below but this place is perched up on the hill by itself. I’m the queen of the castle!!

If you needed to hear this today, listen up… YOU ARE NOT A TREE.




Guys, Cubicle Throwdown just got Facebook and it would be pretty awesome if you went over there and ‘liked’ the page. There’s lots of extras you won’t see on the blog! For every ‘like’ I’ll go out on my deck and send you a long distance high five over the ocean, and probably a mermaid will be born or something. So go do it 🙂

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Rambofen says

    Just Wow! Rika
    There's always fun staying at different place and arranging thing, it is a journey in itself… Great pics and thanks for sharing..

    • CubicleThrowdown says

      Thanks Kristin! Yeah, I've heard the SE Asia party scene is pretty intense and a lot of people get sucked into it. It's just way too easy when you come from a place where a rum and coke is like $11 and now it's 50 cents 🙂

  5. Sarah says

    I sure am gonna miss having you as my neighbor 🙁 But glad for your nice new commute to work!! Am I ever going to see you again!? lol

    • CubicleThrowdown says

      I'm gonna miss having you as my neighbor too!! You are the best neighbor ever! You're gonna see me on Friday the 19th… I'm coming in for the IDC party. I'm in for 3 days this week, but you're not back yet 🙂 We're just gonna have to have some sleepover parties!

  6. Steph (@ 20 Years Hence) says

    I think we have to constantly remind ourselves over and over again to take risks and make changes because it's all too easy to get comfortable and slide back into bad habits, wherever we happen to be in the world. Looks like your new digs are pretty sweet & getting to live rent free for a while should certainly help make up for some of the disappointments you've experienced!

    • CubicleThrowdown says

      Anytime my dear! I would love to have you guys and Lina over 🙂 Probably on a day we all have off though, that dirt road out from the main highway is no bueno en la noche 🙁

  9. Dusty Soles says

    I had a dream the other night about getting to house sit and not paying rent – looks like it wasn't meant for me!!!!

    Well done on taking steps for change 🙂

    • CubicleThrowdown says

      Hehe – it could still be coming your way!! Check out trustedhousesitters.com …whenever I decide I'm done doing what I'm doing here, I'm definitely getting into that. Some of them are pretty awseome!

  10. Lise says

    I have this very same quote on a post it note on my bathroom mirror. It rings true for me on the daily. Congrats on the new digs!

  11. Jay says

    Bravo to you for recognizing and accepting that you need change. I think it's so easy for us to find a million reasons why we can't/shouldn't/won't make different choices because we're afraid of that change forgetting that we do actually have the choice and it's in our hands.
    And – your luck these day… you've got good things coming your way around every corner! Cheers to that Rika!

    • CubicleThrowdown says

      Thanks Jay! I'm glad I realized it too. I'm hoping this will be a good change of pace for me. So far, so good 🙂 And yes, I'm really hoping the lucky streak continues! I'm loving it!